Breaking Point

Regular reader(s) of my Blog will be aware of the violence and Bullying my son has been subjected to. The last episode I Blogged about which is here http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.com/2008/09/you-coldnt-make-it-up.html My son and I recieved some very welcome support from Bloggers and the general public for which we were/are most grateful for.

You might remember I was told by the school an "incident" had occured that "incident" was five kids kicking my son repeatedly whilst he was on the ground. One witness, I have since found out, said one of the kids were kicking my son "like a football". Two of my son's attackers were suspended (given a couple of days off school) because others were kicking my son from behind, although they were the only people behind my son it was said my son could not see them so couldn't prove it was them kicking him so they recieved no sanction.

Please read the link above in order to get an understanding of the situation which will help to bring this entry into context.

Yesterday I recieved a call from the school telling me my son had been involved in "an incident" the "incident" was described to me as "a bit of fun" a "bit of mucking about" "A friend" of my son's had scraped him a bit with a pen so I said something along the lines of "well these things happen, thanks for letting me know"

My son returned home after the school day and showed me his neck. There was, what one might describe as, a 6 inch abrasion, slash mark, across his neck! which looked pretty red raw baring in mind this was approxiametly 4 hours after "the incident".

Naturally (as any parent would be) I was somewhat alarmed and proceeded to ask my son what had happened? He told me he was chatting with his cousin in the playground and this kid, came out of nowhere, from behind and slashed me across the neck with his pen. I said "What...... as a bit of fun"? he said "well it was fun for him but not for me" I said was it "a friend" of yours? he said "well not a friend but he doesn't bully me as much as the others do" I said "the teacher told me he was a friend of yours" my son said "well i've not get many friends and he doesn't bully me as much as some others so didn't want to lose the chance of making a friend and if I told the teacher he wasn't my friend that might have got him in trouble and there would be no chance of him becoming my friend and I didn't want to get him into trouble"

I phoned the teacher this morning and, to cut a long story short, got the same old "party line" "We take these "incidents" seriously". We have explained to the child he COULD be up for a charge of serious assault. He COULD be reported to the police, He COULD have to go to a parish hall enquiry, he COULD go to court. So with all that COULD be done, I asked "what have you done"? to which he replied "suspended him" (gave him an afternoon off school).. Yes an afternoon off school, you really couldn't make this lot up!

I asked what kind of a pen was it because to inflict that kind of injury it must have taken a fair bit of force? He said "I agree but it was the top part of the pen and it was a little bit rough around the edge"

During the phonecall I said "since all this COULD happen, and you take these incidents seriously, naturally you took photo's of my son's injury"? Suprise, suprise nobody had!

Another alaming factor in all of this, it appears the child only recieved threats of what COULD happen to him, not what effect his actions could have on his victim. It doesn't appear the time has been taken out to explain to this child the detremental effects, the emotional damge and harm it might cause. In order to give the child some kind of understanding as to why this sort of behaviour is unacceptable. He's just been told he COULD get into trouble and was given the afternoon off.

Then we must look at the school's statistics. This "incident" was sold to me as "a bit of mucking around" "a bit of fun" Where in my opinion it is bullying, or a serious assault. How will it be logged? under what heading? Statistically speaking it would be more beneficial to call it "a bit of fun" and keep it out of the bullying statistics.

What also confused me somewhat is the "policy" I was told about the last time my son was involved in an "incident". I asked for the names of my son's attackers and I was told it was not "policy" to give other pupils names to parents. When I asked who's "policy" is this? Is it the school's policy or the education departments? to which they couldn't (or wouldn't) give me an answer. After a couple of days of me persuing this answer, it came about, it was "data protection". Then why with this most recent "incident" did the teacher voluntarily give me the name of my son's attacker, surely that puts him in breach of the data protection doesn't it?

Bullying, in my opinion, is rife in our school's. Our children (Bully's and victims) are being failed by hopelessly inadequate, non existent poilcies and self regulated statistics, a non independent complaints proceedure and civil servants and ministers not held to account.

My son feels because somebody doesn't bully him as much as the others that this person could be a friend and feels the need to protect the child. He believes if he tells the truth it will only make matters worse for himself.

I as a parent feel I am sending my son into harms way every day he goes to school, but if I take him out of school for his own safety I'll be prosecuted!! When I try contacting Mario Lundy he doesn't reply to my e-mails or return any of my phone-calls. All the while I am dreading my phone ringing to be told my son has been involved in "an incident" only one day it is going to be from the hospital. Maybe it might be from the police to say my son is being held on an attempted murder charge after finally reached breaking point, after all there is only so much a child can take and I am not only amazed but very proud my son has been able to endure so much violence against him without resorting to violence himself but like I said we all have a breaking point, and the other breaking point doesn't bare thinking about!